One Year Later + A Chocolate Smoothie
Heeeey, I'm baaaaaack! Wow, have I missed this.....writing and creating.
Last year - literally 2 days after posting about nightshade-free enchiladas and frustrations of a small flare-up I was recovering from (that I thought had been pretty intense. How wrong I was.), my body was rocket-launched into one flare-up after another. In September, I contracted Shingles after several months of long hours at the office and a 5-day trial, and by November, I would wake up in the morning already writhing in pain. I could barely walk, I felt that my brain had shrunk to the size of an ant, and I couldn't keep weight on.
This ultimately resulted in me crying with my doctor, telling her that I was at my wits end and, even though it was not what I wanted, I stated that I would get back on my RA medication if I needed to in order to get relief because nothing was working. None of my essential oils would touch the pain. All of the tinctures that I ingested whenever a flare-up came around didn't even shave off half of a number on my pain scale. Cryotherapy was my only saving grace and there were days when even it didn't help. Whatever this mess was, it was ugly and this was not a life. I was spent and something had to give.
As a "hail mary", my doctor recommended a Nagalase test - a blood test that measures the activity of the Nagalese enzyme (α-N-acetylgalactosaminidase, for all of you nerds out there), used to find out if you have cancer or a chronic virus. If you'd like to know more about Nagalase testing, start here and here.
Anywho, my doctor wasn't concerned about cancer, but she had a sneaking suspicion that I had a virus festering in my system. Sure enough, my levels came back double what they consider to be "normal." I looked at my doctor and said, "okay, let's kick this thing." Fast forward through about a month of severe, bedridden fatigue (I thought I knew what being tired was, but y'all, I had no clue. I would wake up, take the antidote, and within 5 minutes have to stumble back to bed because I couldn't keep my eyes open.), I am currently in my last thirty days(!) of 6 months of being on an antidote called Bravo (an extremely large dose of probiotics and colostrum) that I will be forever grateful for, because it has helped me get my life back.
I can't believe I just typed those words. Five years ago, I vowed to never let things get this bad again. Not being able to walk, dress, stand for more than a few minutes, and being tired all. of. the. time. is not something that I ever wanted to experience again. But...five years after my initial problems reared their ugly heads, I found myself back at the beginning and scared stupid, but too dadgum exhausted to know where to begin. Shoutout to my family and doctors for coaching me through this and to my friends for understanding that, sometimes, I am just too tired to do life.
Strangely enough, I have had a peace through this entire season that I can only credit to God because my humanness did not want to be calm. At all. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I really wanted to cry and throw fits and just fall apart. To clarify (this is more for my mom than anyone, because she has lived through this with me), I haven't necessarily been calm. In fact...I have been the farthest thing from calm on some days and I have cried more tears than I thought were humanly possible. I have also come very close to pulling the pity card (and may have succeeded a time or two). But my body was completely out of my hands, and I had to entrust it to the Lord and others in order to get back to being me.
This ultimately resulted in me crying with my doctor, telling her that I was at my wits end and, even though it was not what I wanted, I stated that I would get back on my RA medication if I needed to in order to get relief because nothing was working. None of my essential oils would touch the pain. All of the tinctures that I ingested whenever a flare-up came around didn't even shave off half of a number on my pain scale. Cryotherapy was my only saving grace and there were days when even it didn't help. Whatever this mess was, it was ugly and this was not a life. I was spent and something had to give.
As a "hail mary", my doctor recommended a Nagalase test - a blood test that measures the activity of the Nagalese enzyme (α-N-acetylgalactosaminidase, for all of you nerds out there), used to find out if you have cancer or a chronic virus. If you'd like to know more about Nagalase testing, start here and here.
Anywho, my doctor wasn't concerned about cancer, but she had a sneaking suspicion that I had a virus festering in my system. Sure enough, my levels came back double what they consider to be "normal." I looked at my doctor and said, "okay, let's kick this thing." Fast forward through about a month of severe, bedridden fatigue (I thought I knew what being tired was, but y'all, I had no clue. I would wake up, take the antidote, and within 5 minutes have to stumble back to bed because I couldn't keep my eyes open.), I am currently in my last thirty days(!) of 6 months of being on an antidote called Bravo (an extremely large dose of probiotics and colostrum) that I will be forever grateful for, because it has helped me get my life back.
I can't believe I just typed those words. Five years ago, I vowed to never let things get this bad again. Not being able to walk, dress, stand for more than a few minutes, and being tired all. of. the. time. is not something that I ever wanted to experience again. But...five years after my initial problems reared their ugly heads, I found myself back at the beginning and scared stupid, but too dadgum exhausted to know where to begin. Shoutout to my family and doctors for coaching me through this and to my friends for understanding that, sometimes, I am just too tired to do life.
Strangely enough, I have had a peace through this entire season that I can only credit to God because my humanness did not want to be calm. At all. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I really wanted to cry and throw fits and just fall apart. To clarify (this is more for my mom than anyone, because she has lived through this with me), I haven't necessarily been calm. In fact...I have been the farthest thing from calm on some days and I have cried more tears than I thought were humanly possible. I have also come very close to pulling the pity card (and may have succeeded a time or two). But my body was completely out of my hands, and I had to entrust it to the Lord and others in order to get back to being me.
So... I have basically made
my bedroom my fortress and I currently spend far too much time in there
sleeping. And I am finally okay with that because it's not permanent. It's
only temporary. This season has been figuring out and accepting my limits. Acceptance has been the hardest part. I'm a "go, go, go" personality and my body has been screaming for me to halt. And I have to listen to it because no one can speak for me except, well, me.
There is this thing called "remission" that I am so ready to know. I feel like most days I take two steps back and only move one step forward every so often. But in all reality, I am doing loads better than I was back in December. And when I look at the progress I've made, I realize that I really am one step closer to achieving my ultimate goal: health. Y'all, so many people take their
health for granted. Don't. You have no idea how many people are fighting to find their own.
This season hasn't been all dark and dreary though. Good things have come from this and I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's still pretty dim, but hey, it's not pitch black anymore, so I'll take it! I would also like to announce that I was recently seen in
Wal-Mart doing a happy dance because pre-made bone broth (Bonafide) finally hit
the freezer section in this neck of the woods. I mean, HELLO! This is a big
deal. I'm pretty sure that Mississippi is the last State to get on any
healthy bandwagon, and I think my little 'ol town is at the tail end of that.
Don't get me wrong, I love my State and I love my town. But they need to get.
with. the. program. Amen? Amen.
Also, for the past month or so, I've had enough energy to get back in the kitchen and start creating things again WHICH IS HUGE. I've mastered quite a few new recipes that I can't wait to share over the next several months. One of the first recipes I concocted was this smoothie.
It has 41 grams of protein, has MCT oil in it for some brain power (just be careful to work up to 1 tablespoon. No one needs to have an experience like this.) is packed with gut healing ingredients, and is delicious to boot. It has also helped me maintain my weight and keeps me from skipping meals when I'm too tired or sick to think about food. It also blends up quite nicely in my very own Vitamix that I finally purchased back in August and I love, love love it!
In addition to the smoothie, I've been sipping on bone broth, veggie-filled egg muffins, salads, and discovered garbanzo bean pasta (which tastes great with just about anything). I'll also eat anything Paleo that anyone is willing to cook (thanks, Mom) and still find it impossible to turn down a good sweet potato fry. Honestly, since I was thrust into this way of eating (it is not for the weak, but it is so good for your body!) I'm about 85% positive that my organs are going to outlive me. If you read the headlines about a 140 year old woman who donated her organs after being involved in a one-car crash because she spilled bone broth in her lap, that's ya girl right here! But I'll have to put in my will that each organ must have a "feed me Paleo or I'll die" tag on it...so my organs might not have any takers, poor things!
It has 41 grams of protein, has MCT oil in it for some brain power (just be careful to work up to 1 tablespoon. No one needs to have an experience like this.) is packed with gut healing ingredients, and is delicious to boot. It has also helped me maintain my weight and keeps me from skipping meals when I'm too tired or sick to think about food. It also blends up quite nicely in my very own Vitamix that I finally purchased back in August and I love, love love it!
In addition to the smoothie, I've been sipping on bone broth, veggie-filled egg muffins, salads, and discovered garbanzo bean pasta (which tastes great with just about anything). I'll also eat anything Paleo that anyone is willing to cook (thanks, Mom) and still find it impossible to turn down a good sweet potato fry. Honestly, since I was thrust into this way of eating (it is not for the weak, but it is so good for your body!) I'm about 85% positive that my organs are going to outlive me. If you read the headlines about a 140 year old woman who donated her organs after being involved in a one-car crash because she spilled bone broth in her lap, that's ya girl right here! But I'll have to put in my will that each organ must have a "feed me Paleo or I'll die" tag on it...so my organs might not have any takers, poor things!
All jokes aside, this is not easy. And whoever tells you that it is...
is lying to your face. Autoimmune disease flare-ups and complications are
seemingly downplayed all across social media and I cannot understand why. It's
real. It's painful. And it needs to be seen because (again) IT IS REAL. I
cannot tell you how many times in the past year I have whispered "you're okay" to
myself as tears streamed down my face. And I've learned that it's typical for
my hands and lips to tremble uncontrollably when I have hit my maximum pain
tolerance. But it's okay, and I'm okay. I've made it this far and I've done a
pretty darn good job of it too.
I know you're ready to try this smoothie, so I promise I'm wrapping up.
I originally titled this post "comeback," but it didn't seem right. Because I'm not really "back" yet, I'm still working on it. But the word now means something different to me. It means you don't give up. Hopefully I'll be here every week, but it may be every couple of weeks until I get into the swing of things again. Coming back means putting one foot in front of the other until you're on the other side. So I'll be here. Just trekkin.' 💗
I originally titled this post "comeback," but it didn't seem right. Because I'm not really "back" yet, I'm still working on it. But the word now means something different to me. It means you don't give up. Hopefully I'll be here every week, but it may be every couple of weeks until I get into the swing of things again. Coming back means putting one foot in front of the other until you're on the other side. So I'll be here. Just trekkin.' 💗
XOXO,
Heather
Chocolate Primal Smoothie
Serves: 1
1 C. Nut milk (Cashew and
Macadamia make it more creamy)
1 T. MCT Oil
1 Banana (I like mine just
after they have turned yellow. Almost still with a tint of green)
1 scoop Primal Kitchen
Chocolate Collagen Fuel (find it here!)
1 scoop Paleo Protein Powder
(I’ve been using this one)
8-10 Ice cubes
Place all ingredients in a
high-speed blender and blend for 30 seconds, or until all ingredients are
combined to a smoothie-like consistency. Pour into a glass and drink
immediately.
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