When Did Women Become Numbers on a Scale?

Seriously though? What happened? When did we feel it necessary to achieve this "perfect" number... this "perfect" body type... this "perfect" idea of what a woman is? Why do we all of a sudden have to be able to lift as much as a man? Why is strong the new skinny? Heck, WHY are we even coming up with these "things" that demand that we reach a pedestal of "skinny" to feel loved, important, appreciated? Even hearing "healthy is the new skinny" makes me shudder. I want to just be healthy....my body's form of healthy. Period.

Why do we compare ourselves to other women or feel that we're being lied to when a man tells us we are beautiful simply because we believe there are eons of women out there who are much more beautiful than us? Why are we constantly telling ourselves, "I'm not good enough?"

It hurts my soul. 

I have spent months mulling this over and trying to uncover what it is. Is it men causing the stress or is it women? Society standards? Is it mental? After picking the brains of several people - both male and female - this is my take on the whole messy situation:

If a man is a genuine soul, he won't be simply looking for "a size 2." Yeah, a guy wants his girl to be healthy. We girls want our man to be healthy too! Being healthy is good and should be desired by everyone (men and women alike). The desire to be healthy pushes us to find what makes our mind and body feel the best. Taking care of our bodies...being healthy...is meant to be a lifestyle. The problem with "being healthy" is when it becomes an obsession. When "being healthy" means hitting that number on the scale, lifting that weight, or fitting into a certain size, we have a serious problem.

I know that there are some - actually serval thousand - people who suffer from body image disorders. One such disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, affects over 200,000 people per year. PER YEAR. Body Dysmorphic Disorder ("BDD") is where a person frequently examines their image in a mirror, compares their body to another, and some even have issues being around people or participating in a photo-op because they are unhappy with the way that they look. And it could be a seemingly minor flaw to another person. But it stands out to that person and drives them to the point that they will do whatever it takes to feel beautiful...accepted...good enough. They are terrified of gaining weight and, if they do, will punish themselves in various ways. It's real. And my heart breaks for those that deal with the mental side of never feeling "good enough" because, dear soul, you are more than enough.

In my short time on this earth spent converting oxygen into carbon dioxide, I have always heard that women should be roughly 120 pounds and that, to "reach" that, we should only consume 1,200 calories per day. Woah, woah, woah. Excuse me? There are so many things wrong with this. First of all, let's just pick apart this whole "1,200 calories" statement. There have been studies conducted that found women who consumed 1,600 calories per day showed an increase in neurotic behavior. 1,600 calories!! Also, the recommended calorie intake for a 3 year old is 1,000 - 1,300 calories per day. And, for some reason, the number "1,200" has stuck out like a sore thumb as "the perfect number" of calories for a grown woman to consume every day. No wonder women tend to lean higher on the scale for mental disorders. We're not feeding our bodies what they need! Second, this weight thing...

I have never been 120 pounds in my life.

I think I skipped from 100 to 130 overnight. And that was when I was a teenager. I've matured since then and no longer see "130" on a scale. That is, when I get on a scale. Which happens.....basically never. I only get on them when I go to the doctor because, why would I do that to myself? If I feel confident, healthy, and my body is doing what it should, why do I need to associate that feeling with a number? I did, however, drop to 130 once when I was in my late teens/early twenties because I was deathly ill and couldn't keep anything down to save my life....for fifteen (15) months. People said that I looked skeletal and were genuinely concerned about me. 

If "perfection" at 5'9" is 101 pounds... I don't want to be that kind of perfect. 

Women say things such as "I need to improve my health and fitness to get back to the size that I was [insert number] years ago". And it's not just women that are being attacked and weighed down by this idolization of body image. Guys are impacted by it also. Instead of being skinny, it's obtaining a level of muscle mass. To appear "built," "strong," "worthy." Just.... Ugh. 

Men and women alike are uncomfortable with body changes and fluctuations and somehow overlook the fact that life happens. Your body changes every day. Heck, our CELLS regenerate so much that, in seven years, most of our organs are new. That's a lot of change happening on a body and we have to do our best to take care of the body we're given so that it can do what it was created to do. But for the love of all things sunshine and sprinkles, if you want to have a cheat day and eat a cookie, eat the dadgum cookie! Food shouldn't ever have to be associated with "earning." You don't have to do 100 sit-ups, run 1.5 miles, or do 75 burpees in order to "earn" that cookie. Love, you eat that cookie and you enjoy it. Enjoyment should never be associated with punishment. Ever.

We need a total mind shift.

I've had a lot of ups and downs with my weight pre-diagnosis and post. It hasn't always been pretty and I haven't "loved" every minute of it. But I've learned to appreciate the journey. I've learned the blessing of finally being able to maintain weight instead of not being able to keep it on. Lots of people have told me, "I wish I had your problem!" but I have a hard time believing that they'd want to be in this body...going through what this body has gone (and is still going) through...if they really knew what it was like. The journey hasn't been sunshine and sprinkles. More often than not, it's looked like a black hole. But it has shown me appreciation and helped me fall in love with my body and my self worth. I read something in this book recently that was very eye opening:

The human heart can't go very long without feeling accepted and loved.

Let me repeat that. The human heart can't go very long without feeling accepted and loved. Love and acceptance is not a number on a scale, weight that can be lifted, or fitting into a size zero. At the root of it all, human beings just want to be loved. We want to know that people accept us for who we are and to be loved in spite of our "flaws"....our messy days...our less-than-perfection. If we actually spent more time focusing on people's hearts, the genuineness of their souls, can you even fathom how the world's perspective on body image would change? Think about it. 💋

XOXO,

Heather

P.S. I was serious about eating that cookie. Make these. Seriously. Do it.

Almond Butter Sandwich Cookies
Makes: 12
From Paleo Running Momma

Cookies:

• 1 Egg
• ¾ cup smooth natural Almond Butter (I'm in love with Barney Butter)
• 1 tbsp organic Coconut Oil
• ½ cup organic Coconut Palm Sugar
• 1 tsp pure Vanilla Extract
• 1 cup blanched Almond Flour
• 2 Tbsp organic Coconut Flour
• ¼ tsp Baking Soda
• pinch of Sea Salt
• 
  

Filling:

• ½ cup dairy-free Mini Chocolate Chips
• ¼ cup smooth natural Almond Butter 
• ¼ tsp pure Vanilla Extract

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper. (I promise you, parchment paper makes cleanup so much easier.)

In a large bowl, whisk the egg with the ¾ cup almond butter, coconut sugar, vanilla, and coconut oil. In a smaller bowl, combine the almond and coconut flour, baking soda and pinch of salt. Add the dry mixture to the wet and mix until a thick cookie dough forms. (I used a hand mixer, but you can go at it with a spoon if you want to build some serious muscle in the process. 😟) Scoop and roll dough into 1 inch balls, place on the prepared baking sheet, and flatten completely to ¼" thickness. (Dough will feel greasy but not sticky.)

Bake for 8-10 minutes until dry and set (since they start out looking greasy, you want them to look like.....well, you want them to look like a "normal cookie." Whatever that is); remove from oven and allow to cool for a minute before placing on wire racks to cool completely.

While the cookies bake, make the filling. In a small saucepan over very low heat, melt the chocolate chips with the almond butter while stirring. As soon as the chocolate melts, remove from heat, stir in the vanilla and continue to stir until smooth. Set aside and allow to cool. (Y'all, I did this all in the microwave. in 30-second intervals and it worked quite nicely and saved me a dish or two to wash.)

Once the cookies and the filling have cooled, it's time to assemble the sandwich cookies! The filling should be of spreadable, but not liquid consistency for this part, sort of like a thick frosting. If it cools too much, you can heat it a small amount while stirring to melt it to the right consistency. Using a spoon, take 1-2 tsp of filling and place on the bottom (flat side) of a cookie, then place another cookie on top of it with the flat side down (facing the filling) Press down a bit to spread the filling, and repeat with the remaining cookies. 

And then, just go to town. I promise, you won't be able to eat more than 2.